Reverberations

Trust seems to be the most difficult thing on earth, but they say the world runs on trust. You never know whom to trust and when to trust. It takes a very long time to get someone’s trust, yet you don’t know that if that someone really trusts you….

Well no wonder world is too complex…

Recently, I realized…If you don’t know if a person trusts you…most likely they don’t. Just follow your instincts.

Everyone  needs some one to look up to, some one to lean on, some hand to hold on during the journey of life. For me, all the way since I was a kid, it has been my dad. I have looked up to him for several things in life. He has been there for me in every way possible. Every time I fall through cracks of life (I’ve fallen several times), his hand was right there where I needed, steady and strong to lift me up.

Thank you so much for all you’ve done Appa…Happy Fathers Day!!!

He says:

Another year rolled by me in a very short realizable time frame throwing out a lot of lessons. Few, I will keep and walk upon every day and a few, I will just store. After spending more than 25 years on mother earth, staying as the same happy go lucky person doesn’t seem to be prudent. So am trying to adapt myself. One gets better in life with these lessons that are narrated while traveling in axis of time.

Here’s one I realized this year. A new happy thing makes one extremely happy and that lasts for a few days. That happiness can overcome mountains of sorrow. At the same time, a new sad encounter hurts really bad and lasts several days too. Happy things can momentarily modify that train of thought, but this well programmed train will get back to its track in a few minutes. This is life for everybody and one has to cross this at some point in life. So no “God…Why just me?” any more. (more…)

Almost a year after losing this blog to some hacker, I have brought it back alive. Had a lot thoughts about changing the theme and making it look like a true web2.0 blog, but nostalgic thoughts over powered my wish to get to the cutting edge. Though I couldn’t rebuild everything as it was before, I have done my best to restore it. I have restored most of the posts, lost all the comments though. None of the posts that I wrote in Tamil now display properly, so still working on it.

Well…now that am married, will get some posts from my wife as well…

So, shortly…back alive

This post is something special because, to complete the dream evening my girl helped a lot. Here is how we did in part-2.

Me:
After an eventful evening, I rested my head on my pillows; my brain still didn’t stop working out the probability of mission marriage’s success. It felt as though my brain and mind went on a deadlock driving sleep out of earthly boundaries. Once in a while, I asked myself some unanswerable questions…”Why am I expecting an answer so quick, why am I so desperate?” I took my sweet time to make a decision just to pour out, so now was hers to make the choice. Unconsciously I dozed off, subconsciously still aggravating anxiety in myself.

My girl:
Although it was the end of another eventful day, it still wasn’t time for me to sleep. After hearing something that was totally unexpected and which shocked me to the core, I guess sleep evading me that night was rightly expected. Zillion thoughts went on my tiny head, never knew my brain could handle so much. Decisions decisions decisions…..how I hate it really bad and here I was - all alone lying on my bed trying to make one more, which also happens to be the most important one - coincidence eh?. Thoughts, after-thoughts, re-thoughts and what not went on for a long time. I could hear my senses screaming that it’s overworking itself but I am still trying to figure out things. Somewhere between the time when Sun God has signaled to show his mighty self and when my eyes were wanting to close a bit, I realized my mind was thinking clear. Guess its time for the curtains to be raised again (more…)

For over a year I have said that decision to marry is not quantifiable. There is no way on earth to know if you are truly in love or if the marriage will workout. I don’t have that much belief neither in the astrological predictions of future nor in the statistical projections of psychological traits. What if I end up with someone totally incompatible? What can I find about a person just by talking for a few days after an arranged marriage interview date? These drove me to the decision less road that glorifies enjoying life as single.

She wasn’t a pretty doll. Definitely not the kind of face that would tangle your vision in the middle of the road, making your eyes follow her trail and your mind pleading her to stop and turn around once again. But there, in front of one of the most beautiful beaches, amidst all the beach walkers, she looked serene and striking. A clear blemishless face, large expressive eyes, thin wide lips with a natural mild pout let my brain capture every pixel of the priceless face and persist it to eternity.

Sitting besides her, gazing at the sky searching for moving stars “Hey…look isn’t that star shining too bright; may be it is Mercury” I completed with a grin. “No way, can’t you see that moving fast” the reply came in a flash and I was smiling like an idiot. Never a quiet moment; either of us had something to talk. A few lip twisting smiles, a few wide mouthed laughs and the clock was ticking in an unprecedented speed. Many evenings, I’ve stood in the same place waiting for the sun god to hide under the endless mighty waters of the Pacific, but that day I wanted him to stay still just kissing the cold blue waters. (more…)

Well, now I’ve moved to my new home on the web after hibernating a while on a freely rented apartment (blogger). Thanks to Mansoor for hosting this. The UI uses the wordpress theme, connections by Patricia Muller. Even though all credits go to Patricia Muller for creating the theme, my inspiration for this customized version of connections came from a friend of mine, Shweta (http://www.shwetagupta.com/blog).

I felt that the theme was pretty narrow for most readers so I expanded it to fit nicely into the next better most commonly used resolution (1024×768). I wanted to make it floating, but felt lazy to do that much work. Other than that, it was pretty much playing with CSS, consolidating the php pages, adding additional templates for pages (haven’t used them yet), adding rotating header images, adding simple javascript for comment form validation.

There is something behind some of the header images; memroies of the place I hail from. I call it paradise on planet earth :-), trust me it is. The water fall, you see is called Vaana Theertham, the starting point of the unsung, almost perinniel Thamirabarani (aka Porunai). The path to the water fall is almost a 45 min drive up the hill (Pothigai Hills)from Papanasam/a few hours of trek followed by a ~30min sail on a motor boat. Oops, I just rememberd that I’ve randomized the images, so you will get to see a part of the paradise if you are lucky enough. If you dont feel lucky the first time, just try your luck with F5/Ctrl+R
Am still working on perfecting the theme, once I am done with that, will leave it here for download.

I have had many friends who got married recently. Marriages have been both love and arranged. Irrespective of the type, they generally abscond from the society for a few months (I should really credit Sireesha, a friend of mine, for not doing that). While that is totally acceptable for them to enjoy the conjugal bliss in solitude, the way they screen themselves in front of other friends completely changes. I totally agree that marriage brings the virtual bond of affection and the emotional relation to reality, through a ceremony called wedding, that doesn’t mean that the preexistent bonds with rest of the world become void. I totally can stand all these changes except for one.

When a married girl addresses her hubby to a friend (a guy) 99% she says “My husband blah..blah..blah..”. This happens even if the third person is a good friend of that “my husband”. When I put myself in that third person’s shoes I infer those words as weapons of alienation. I also see through those words as eruptions of possessiveness. What ever that may be, I feel the usage very inappropriate in that context. Just to substantiate my sincere thoughts, I watched when some married guys were referring to their wives in casual conversations. None of them addressed their better half as “my wife..blah..blah..blah..” when the third person knew his wife as a friend.

What difference does a marriage make in the way the couple sees other relationships? Even if they see the world through new eyes, how different is it for married girls to address their hero just as they used to before. They never say “my boyfriend…blah..blah…blah…”. When they are in a relationship, they utter their boyfriend’s name for every smile and sigh. Why does that change all of a sudden after getting married? If that change is out of immense respect (like those of historical wives who don’t speak out their hubby’s name), it is totally acceptable. But it doesn’t seem to be so. How hard it is for them to say ” blah..blah..blah…” when referring to their hubbies? This phenomenon happens especially when they address their hubbies in front other guys. In an all-girls discussion, they happen to be as they were before getting married. They let the name of their hubbies fly in the air almost for every sentence.

Why do married girls alienate their hubbies that much from other guys? Do they think all guys are gays to be behind their hubbies???

(I do have some friends who don’t fall into this category of selective alienators and I take my hands off the keyboard for a minute here to appreciate them.)