I have had many friends who got married recently. Marriages have been both love and arranged. Irrespective of the type, they generally abscond from the society for a few months (I should really credit Sireesha, a friend of mine, for not doing that). While that is totally acceptable for them to enjoy the conjugal bliss in solitude, the way they screen themselves in front of other friends completely changes. I totally agree that marriage brings the virtual bond of affection and the emotional relation to reality, through a ceremony called wedding, that doesn’t mean that the preexistent bonds with rest of the world become void. I totally can stand all these changes except for one.

When a married girl addresses her hubby to a friend (a guy) 99% she says “My husband blah..blah..blah..”. This happens even if the third person is a good friend of that “my husband”. When I put myself in that third person’s shoes I infer those words as weapons of alienation. I also see through those words as eruptions of possessiveness. What ever that may be, I feel the usage very inappropriate in that context. Just to substantiate my sincere thoughts, I watched when some married guys were referring to their wives in casual conversations. None of them addressed their better half as “my wife..blah..blah..blah..” when the third person knew his wife as a friend.

What difference does a marriage make in the way the couple sees other relationships? Even if they see the world through new eyes, how different is it for married girls to address their hero just as they used to before. They never say “my boyfriend…blah..blah…blah…”. When they are in a relationship, they utter their boyfriend’s name for every smile and sigh. Why does that change all of a sudden after getting married? If that change is out of immense respect (like those of historical wives who don’t speak out their hubby’s name), it is totally acceptable. But it doesn’t seem to be so. How hard it is for them to say ” blah..blah..blah…” when referring to their hubbies? This phenomenon happens especially when they address their hubbies in front other guys. In an all-girls discussion, they happen to be as they were before getting married. They let the name of their hubbies fly in the air almost for every sentence.

Why do married girls alienate their hubbies that much from other guys? Do they think all guys are gays to be behind their hubbies???

(I do have some friends who don’t fall into this category of selective alienators and I take my hands off the keyboard for a minute here to appreciate them.)